My doctor told me I have an eating disorder. She said, whenever I am sad or anxious, I overeat. I paid her R 2,000 to tell me something I already knew. If I opened a packet of chips or other snacks, I finished it, even if I was full to the point where I knew I would puke. (This had nothing to do with Lays’ tagline ‘No one can eat just one’)
But she did not know was that I had been to the other extreme as well.
I was 17. My friends used to ‘jokingly’ call me an elephant. I used to think that I was the ugly duckling who would never grow up to become the swan. I was a fairly good student — I was top of my class, I participated and won debate competitions and dance competitions, and yet nothing mattered. I could never look at myself lovingly.
I needed to lose weight, I decided. Continue reading