The curse of the cow

Stay away from cows. That’s the one advice I give everyone.

They provide milk and manure. They look really innocent with their large, beautiful eyes. But if you are not careful around them, they will gore you. Or, topple your bike. Or, make you do a perfect summersault.

Even if they do it by mistake.

How can they not? After all, they are everywhere. And, the middle of a road seems to be the perfect spot for them to take a nap. And, the regulars, they become a landmark of sorts.

“So, you have to come straight from the red light, take the first left and then take a right from where you see a white cow sitting.” Oh, this has happened to me. Continue reading

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Left Vs Right: I thought they were just directions!

 

New to college
Going to college. Image courtesy: Shutterstock.com

“This is a complete leftist ideology,” said one person in my class. To which the other replied, “these journalists are bourgeoise leftist. They want to sit in their air-conditioned office and talk about farmers committing suicide.”

 

And, I was sitting there nodding my head; I had no clue what leftist ideology was. And, what the fuck is a bourgeoisie? (Also, that’s not how I spelt the word in my head, duh.) Continue reading

The period bonding

“The thing that we eat when we are chumming,” said the girl I had met barely two hours ago. In response, I shouted, “chocolate.” We won the game of ‘Heads Up’ by a point.

Now, here’s the thing, in the 120 minutes that we had spent together not once did we discuss our menstrual habits or our love for chocolates. Yet, she was fairly certain that I would guess the word. That’s because, like the love for Leo DiCaprio, experiences that come with chumming are universal.

Girl, if you are 25 and above, you must have definitely these situations. Continue reading

Living on the scales

 

Elevated low section view of woman standing on weighing scales
Image Courtesy: pinterest.com

Last week I was down with the seasonal flu. And, the highlight was that I lost 4 kgs!

 

Yes, I watch my weight (and see the scales not moving an inch) every morning. I am very conscious about my body. And, there are reasons.

My weight is a public spectacle. Everyone feels comfortable walking up to me and telling me how I have gained a lot of weight in the last two years, or how they have tried a new diet that really seems to work or to simply tell me that I should avoid the samosas being served with the tea.

“You know the <insert any name> bhaiiya was telling me how you have put on a lot of weight. So, I thought I should tell you that you must work on losing it now,” my boss told me one day. This was without me inviting her to comment on my weight. She also suggested a diet that had worked for her. Continue reading

Are you eating too much or too little?

 

Eating disorder.png
Image Courtesy: http://az616578.vo.msecnd.net

My doctor told me I have an eating disorder. She said, whenever I am sad or anxious, I overeat. I paid her R 2,000 to tell me something I already knew. If I opened a packet of chips or other snacks, I finished it, even if I was full to the point where I knew I would puke. (This had nothing to do with Lays’ tagline ‘No one can eat just one’)

 

But she did not know was that I had been to the other extreme as well.

I was 17. My friends used to ‘jokingly’ call me an elephant. I used to think that I was the ugly duckling who would never grow up to become the swan. I participated and won debate competitions and dance competitions, I was on top of my class and yet nothing mattered. I could never look at myself lovingly.

I was a fairly good student; I was top of my class, I participated and won several debate and dance competitions. Yet, nothing mattered. I could never look at myself lovingly.

I needed to lose weight, I decided. Continue reading

I saw a shimmering light

‘Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim,
I had to stop for the night.
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself
‘This could be heaven or this could be Hell’
Then she lit up the candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say…

No points for guessing the song.

The daily prompt was ‘Shimmering‘ and this is the first thing that came to my head.

This song is very special for me. I think this was among the first few English songs I had memorised when I came to college. Everyone around me used to sing the song and go on and on about how beautifully the lyrics had been written. I sang along but failed to understand how a hotel commercial was deep and meaningful.

And, it wasn’t even that great — they did not have a wine since 1969! Continue reading

3… 2… 1 … Procrastinate!

 

procrastinate
Image Courtesy: http://www.movimento5stelle.it/

I could have been as rich as Bill Gates or as famous as Beyonce or as intelligent as Terence Tao (I swear I did not google the most intelligent person on Earth). I could have been if only I put in a little more effort.

I am a procrastinator. If something can be done tomorrow, I will do it day after. I get an adrenaline rush when I submit my assignment just a minute before the deadline. And, no it wasn’t a lengthy assignment, I was just busy binge watching some show probably. Or even reading a history textbook (unless, it was a history assignment, in that case, I would go for the physics book probably.)

Instead of getting up and going for a jog, I spend hours procrastinating watching videos on how not to procrastinate (I really need to find a synonym. This text is procrastination heavy). Continue reading