The slut syndrome

“A key that can open any lock is the master key, but a lock that can be opened by all keys is useless.” This quote was thrown at me whenever I spoke of female sexuality. Is it best for women to ignore their sexual urges, especially in a conservative society like ours?

To explore this question, the girl will revisit the past — the time before she came to a metropolis.

(For my last post, I moved to the present and told you about how the girl in the city has assimilated with the culture of doing everything on the go.)

Now, let’s back up a little. This post is from when she was a high school student in a small town.

The girl had seen porn and was well aware of what to do with what parts of her body. Then, she met a boy with whom she wanted to use those parts of her body.

He was the bad boy –  handsome, not so good with his studies, took risks and was on the school basketball team. (His eyes were her weakness; her knees would become wobbly every time he looked towards her.) She was the good girl – studious, teacher’s pet, always completed all her assignments on time.

She loved him, he used her for his homework and sexual needs. He was everything she wanted, she was just a score for him.

One summer night, she invited him home when no one was around and they had sex. (It was painful and not even a wee bit enjoyable for her; he did not even try. He stared at the image of a naked blonde girl fingering herself while entering her, without any kisses or foreplay.) The experience left her drained and she did not want to do it ever again. He said she was a tease, a slut and never spoke to her again.

When her mother found out about it, she said, “You have shamed the family. Girls do not do that, you will never get married now. You know what people call a girl with multiple partners, right?”

That day she knew what it felt like to be a slut, and it scarred her for life.

At first, she thought that she would never do it again because ‘what would people think of her’.

But then, she came to the city and saw everyone around her having sex freely, without any guilt whatsoever. So, she thought she would actually be the slut that her mom termed her as. And, she did.

It gave her an ego boost when she realised that many boys in her class wanted to sleep with her, but four years later she crashed with a thud when she realised all that they wanted to do was have sex with her. She found herself friendless and companionless because every guy she met sweet-talked her to get into her pants and it was too late by the time she understood that.

Not being taught about sex and being called a slut made her move from one extreme to the other. Now, the girl in the city is still trying to figure out what she is without her sexuality.

Sex and relationships  are confusing for everyone, but it need not be traumatic.

Talk and prepare.

Girls leaving homes to move to a city, talk to your parents about sex, try to break the taboo. Girls who are already in the city and have had their own experiences, prepare your children when the time comes.

(PS: I know it is a little preachy, but I can’t help it. I still wish I had some support from family or friends during my formative years.)